Episode 6: Deal Or No Deal? Kris' True Colors Exposed!

PROLOGUE: After the sinister plans were hatched, the PBB House defenders decided to go separate ways. Matt and Hyacinth went home, Pritong Kandule went along with Hero to UP where he studies Fine Arts, and the rest went back to ELJCC. The ABS-CBN anime characters continued their jobs; while the Ren'ai Rangers were busy filing job applications.

PROLOGUE 2: At about the same time when the defense ended, the duel between Korina and Mel also ended. They were both tired and weary, but they swore to duel again sometime.

Time has passed since the attack on the Big Brother House. And the "anti-Heroes" are still enacting their "rule".

The HELLO HENRY SCANDAL, Part 2
Legend: A-Emily Abrera, G-Felipe Gozon

Conversation on 30 15:05 June 2006

A: Hello, Henry? Matagal na kitang di natatawagan.
G: Oh, good. Meron kasi akong plano, e.
A: Ah, yung tungkol kay Hero, no?
G: Yes, ma'am. Dahil narinig ko na banned na siya sa kabila, nag-aarange na ako ng plano para mapilitang siyang lumipat dito.
A: OK, OK.
G: Kumbinsihin mo si Kris na ilagay si Rene Mariano sa "Deal Or No Deal".
A: Walang problema sa akin.
G: O, sige. Bye.

Mid-July 2006. July 14, 2006 to be exact.

The episode of "Deal or No Deal" featuring fortuneteller Rene Mariano is being aired.

By some coincidence, the PBB House defenders (minus Hero, Sandara, Joseph, and Pritong Kandule) meet again on the set. And how?

Matthew Luke, Hyacinth, Kim, and Gerald were invited to the audience seats. The ABS-CBN anime characters were stationed as guards. And the Ren'ai Rangers were drafted as part of the 26K who will open the briefcases.

The show begins, and Mr. Mariano chooses first his winning briefcase (#13 to be exact), and then proceeds to pick six briefcases for opening.

Rene Mariano: I choose #10.
Kris: Mizuki, open the briefcase.

Mizuki opens briefcase #10, and it reveals Php100,000.

Rene Mariano: Paanong?
Kris: Eh kasi naman, dahil na-predict mo dati na malalaos si Hero. He may have cast a curse on you.
Mizuki: (Anong? Si Kris, nilalapastangan si Hero?)
Kira: (Hmm... Alam ko na medyo naging kakaiba si Kris recently...)

The house defenders wonder what will happen next; meanwhile, they just concentrate on which briefcase will be opened next.

Rene Mariano: OK, pipiliin ko naman ang #18.
Kris: Asa, open the briefcase.

Asa opens briefcase #18, and it reveals Php200,000.

Rene Mariano: Na naman?
Kris: Mukhang magiging long-lasting ang curse ng pesteng Hero na 'yan.
Asa: (Si Kris... bakit niya tinira uli si Hero?)
Athrun: (One strike na lang, at mamimihasa na si Kris sa paninira niya.)
Kris: Never mind. Next time you might get lucky. Which briefcase na?
Rene Mariano: #4.
Kris: Ayu, open the briefcase.

Ayu opens briefcase #4, and it reveals Php300,000.

Rene Mariano: Arrgh! Mukhang nawawalan na ako ng kapangyarihang humula!
Kris: That Hero, ah... ang sama-sama niya!
Ayu: (Uguu... bakit ganyan si Kris...)
Zenki: (Meron kayang binhi ni Karuma si Kris?)
Kris: Let me tell you. Kung babatikusin mo si Hero, siguradong manunumbalik ang swwerte mo.
Rene Mariano: Yes, Kris. (clears throat) Sinungaling ka, Hero! Di ka talaga bayani! (clears throat again) OK, pipiliin ko naman ang #15.
Kris: Misuzu, open the briefcase.

Misuzu opens briefcase #15, and it reveals Php300.

Rene Mariano: Ahaha! Salamat! Dahil hiniya ko si Hero, maswerte na ako! Gagawin ko na iyan para magka-2 million!
Misuzu: (Gao... kawawa naman si Hero...)
Katie: (Mirmo, sa tingin mo, irereport ba natin yan kay Ma'am K?)
Mirmo: (Alam mo, magkaibigan sina Kris at Korina eh. Baka lilikha iyan ng gulo.)

The group gets jittery with every briefcase opened thereafter and its accompanying lambasting of Hero. With that, the banker's offers to Mr. Mariano pile up.

In the end, they can hold it no more.

Kim: (Tama na! Sobra na! Patalsikin na si Kris! Now na!)
Gerald: (I'm with you, Kim.)
Arcueid: (Si Kris talaga...)
Saber: (Walang karespe-respeto sa taong inosente...)
Naruto: (Talagang magka-Kagebunshin ako kay Kris!)
Yumi & Sachiko: (Hindi kanais-nais para sa isang babae ang manira...)
Hattori: (Kailangang isugod sa mental si Kris.)
Kazuma: (O pakainin siya ng tinapay na may amag!)
Matthew Luke: (Hyacinth, mukhang nandito sa set ang mga kasama nating nagtanggol dati sa Bahay ni Kuya. Oras na naman para magkaisa.)
Hyacinth: (Sige!)

And the next move: they all charge towards Kris.

Matthew Luke: Ikaw talaga, Ms. Kris Aquino! Lumalabas na planted, scripted, at sadyang ginawa-gawa ang mga eksena rito sa show mo para muli ay makatiyempo ang mga detractors ni Hero, lalo ka na, para siya ay muling maasar at mapabagsak!
Hyacinth: Pero kung tutuusin, bistado ka na ngayon pa lang at di ka magtatagumpay.
Kris: Aha, aha, aha! May tama kayong lahat! Talagang plinano ko ang lahat nang iyan para mapilitang lumipat sa Siyete si Hero. And then, everything will be a-OK.
Saber: Ngunit hindi magiging OK sa mga manood ang basta-bastang paninira!
Kim: Lagot ka kay Laguardia!
Kris: Hinding-hindi rin ako kayang patalsikin ni Laguardia dahil alagang-alaga ko siya! Now what? Are you speechless?
Kira: ... (shows angry face)
Athrun: ...magbabayad ka!
Kris: (pause) Well, you don't know that I won't deal with insects like you. Kaya naman, para ligpitin ko kayong mga tagapagtanggol ng Hero na iyon, I'm doing this. Jobert Sucaldito, I summon you!

While Jobert is being summoned, Mr. Mariano dashes away from the DOND set.

Mizuki: Mr. Mariano, bumalik ka!

But then...

Jobert Sucaldito: Hoy, mga pasaway kayong mga kaalyado ni Hero Angeles! Alam ko rin na kakampi n'yo rin ang peste niyang kapatid na si Henry!
Arcueid: Hindi, a! Para kang si Cong. Alan Peter Cayetano, dakdak nang dakdak!
Kris: Sige, Jobert! Finish them off! I don't want to see their kadiri faces again!

Jobert does a pose, and then chants the following.

Jobert Sucaldito: JOBERT SUCALDITO ROBEAST, ENGAGE! (transforms into a monster)

Naruto: Ngayon na! Sugod!



A BOSS BATTLE COMMENCES!

Allies: Anyone from Matthew Luke, Hyacinth, Zenki, Naruto, Katie, Sachiko, Yumi, Mizuki, Asa, Ayu, Misuzu, Arcueid, Saber, Kim, Gerald, Kira, Athrun (maximum party size of 6)
Enemy: Jobert Sucaldito (HP: 2,659)

Starting line-up: Matthew Luke, Hyacinth, Saber, Katie, Kira, Athrun

Matthew Luke chooses to do a cooperative attack with Hyacinth named "Osananajimi". That attack deals 10 hits and 653 damage to Jobert Sucaldito.
Saber chooses to attack Jobert Sucaldito. She deals 165 damage to Jobert Sucaldito.
Katie chooses to attack Jobert Sucaldito. She deals 128 damage to Jobert Sucaldito.
Kira chooses to do a cooperative attack with Athrun named "Natural & Coordinator". That attack deals 14 hits and 293 damage to Jobert Sucaldito.
Jobert Sucaldito chooses to attack Saber. He deals 57 damage to Saber.
Matthew Luke chooses to use a Gatorade on Saber. Saber's HP is restored to full.
Hyacinth chooses to use attack Jobert Sucaldito. She deals 123 damage to Jobert Sucaldito.
Saber chooses to attack Jobert Sucaldito. She deals 164 damage to Jobert Sucaldito.
Katie chooses to cast Withered Strength on Jobert Sucaldito. Jobert Sucaldito's STR decreased by 10.
Kira chooses to attack Jobert Sucaldito. He deals 159 damage to Marvujoli.
Athrun chooses to attack Jobert Sucaldito. He deals 139 damage to Marvujoli.
Jobert Sucaldito chooses to cast Poisonous Swearing on Hyacinth. Hyacinth is Poisoned.
Matthew Luke chooses to use a Herbolario's Antidote on Hyacinth. Hyacinth is no longer Poisoned.
Hyacinth chooses to attack Jobert Sucaldito. She deals 166 damage to Jobert Sucaldito.
Saber chooses to cast Switch Style on herself. Her style is changed from Rush Style to Strong Style.
Katie chooses to attack Jobert Sucaldito. She deals 69 damage to Jobert Sucaldito.
Kira chooses to attack Jobert Sucaldito. He deals 139 damage to Marvujoli.
Athrun chooses to attack Jobert Sucaldito. He deals 159 damage to Marvujoli.
Jobert Sucaldito chooses to attack Saber. But Saber deflects the attack!
Matthew Luke chooses to do a cooperative attack with Hyacinth named "Osananajimi". That attack deals 10 hits and 542 damage to Jobert Sucaldito.

Jobert Sucaldito: Tinalo ninyo ako... pero hinding-hindi ako susuway kay Kris! (explodes)

BATTLE WON!

Jobert Sucaldito: Aghh... nasaan ba ako? Ha? Nasa "Deal Or No Deal" pala ako. Kris?
Kris: Jobert? Napaano ka na? (gasps) Oh my gosh, waepek pala ang binhi ni Karuma!
Zenki: Isa na namang binhi ni Karuma? He he. Isang kain lang, tapos na ang usapan! (eats the seed of Karuma) Mmm... ang sarap!
Kris: You worthless... But next time we meet, tapos na kayong lahat, pati na rin si Hero! For now, ang paglilipat ay mangyayari! (faces the audience, who are puzzled by the turn of events) Sa susunod, sino ang mayayari sa kamalasan tulad ng sinapit ni Hero Angeles? Malalaman natin yan sa Lunes sa Kapamilya: Deal Or No Deal!

And then Kris leaves via teleportation. After the audience leaves, the people who have participated in the recent battle are a bit perplexed at first, but eventually...

Matthew Luke: Hindi na talaga maiiwasan ang paglipat ni Hero.
Kira: Pero meron pa rin tayong pangontra.
Asa: Ano?
Kira: Nasa kamay na nina Sandara at Joseph ang pagpigil sa paglilipat na iyon.
Athrun: Mag-usap-usap tayong lahat bukas sa ELJCC para sa plano nating iyon.
Hyacinth: Sure! Walang problema!

Meanwhile... at an undisclosed place somewhere in Metro Manila...

Henry: Inalipusta na naman ang pinakamamahal kong kapatid! Talagang sumosobra na ang ABS-CBN. Kailangan silang wasakin! WASAKIN! Pero sa ngayon... kailangan kong kumbinsihin si Hero na tumiwalag...

At the Angeles residence...

Hero: Anong patutsada na naman ang ginawa ng putragis na Kris na iyon! Kahit na maghihingi siya ng sorry, hinding-hindi ko ito tatanggapin!

After some minutes of thought...

Hero: Nagpasya na ako. Lilipat na ako sa Siyete. Sorry, mga dati kong kasama; pero kailangan, eh.

The HELLO HENRY SCANDAL, Part 3
Legend: A-Emily Abrera, G-Felipe Gozon

Conversation on 14 23:05 July 2006

A: Hello, Henry? Good work!
G: Ma’am?
A: Good work sa pamimilit kay Hero na lumipat.
G: Ah, thank you po ma'am, yung reward po?
A: Dahil nawawala na si Marvin, kay Tandang Joey mo na lang kunin. Pero ang hatian, dati pa rin.
G: Ah, ok po, pero may pagagawa po uli kayo sa akin?
A: Oo, ang......... (line cut)

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Stars Introduced So Far

None