Episode 9: Hero's Retribution

(Dungeon portion: The ABS-CBN compound has turned into a monsters' breeding ground, so a party must be organized to fight the way through this. Recommended dungeon BGM: "Labyrinth of Illusion" from Romancing SaGa.)

And after tearing through so many monsters, Hero and co. finally trace the unholy trio at Studio 1.

Hero: Nahanap ko rin kayong mga pampasira ng showbiz! Di n'yo ba alam na marami nang mga artista ang sinira ninyo? Sina Bayani Agbayani, Aubrey Miles, at marami pang iba!
Sandara: Sawa na kami sa mga manipulasyon ninyo. Oras na para isalba ang ABS-CBN mula sa kapahamakan!
Joseph: Ngayong nalaman ko na ang tunay ninyong pagkatao, oras na para ligpitin kayo!
Kris: Aha aha aha! That's a laugh! Matatalo n'yo ba kami gamit ang mga pipitsugin ninyong mga sandata?
Cristy: Mas mahalaga ang pangalagaan ang mga mahahalagang tao ng showbiz kaysa sa itutok ang atensyon sa mga laos na artista na ubod pa ng yabang.
Alfie: Ang tigas talaga ng ulo mo, Heroine. Akala mo babalik ka? Hindi ah!
P. Kandule: Kayo talagang mga p***! Wala kayong magawa kundi manipulahin ang Kapamilya Network na parang ginawa ng mga p*****t na mga dating namahala sa EL YU DYI! PBP! PBP!
Mizuki & Sachiko: Ngayon lang namin nakilala si Hero, pero madali naming naunawaan ang hinaing niya, kaya sumama kami sa krusada niya kontra kayong mga tiwali!
Kim & Hyacinth: Panahon na... upang ipakita sa madla ang mga halimaw na sumapi sa inyong tatlo!
Kris: Monsters... hahahaha! You are all right! Kaming lahat ay nag-borrow ng powers mula sa mga unknown creatures!

Just then, Korina, Mel, Boy, and Erich show up between the opposing sides from different places in the studio.

Korina: Mareng Kris? Anong nangyayari dito?
Katie: Ma'am K, you're back!
Korina: Oh, save the greetings for later, Katie. Eh kasi...
Mel: (thinking) Hmm... mga asungot mula sa Ka-familia... (gasps) Korina? Ikaw na naman?
Korina: Kayo na naman, ex-sensei?
Boy: Korina! Mel! Tigilan na ang pagtititigan ninyong dalawa!
Erich: Nagpa-power-up kasi sina Kris, eh!
Matthew Luke & co.: Boy Abunda and Erich Gonzales?

While the people wonder, Kris, Cristy, and Alfie have finished powering up. They all emit some kind of Super Saiyan-esque aura.

Kris: This is super-duper power! I'm the ultimate taklesa ever!
Cristy: Sa pamamagitan ng kapangyarihan ko, magiging mas perpekto na ang mundo ng showbiz dahil madudurog na parang insekto ang mga katulad ninyong walang delikadesa!
Alfie: Pamumunuan namin ang buong Philippine Showbizlandia! Kahit ang mga estasyon ng TV at radyo, luluhod sila sa amin!

Boy then walks near the unholy trio.

Boy: Mula sa ngayon, ipinuputol ko na ang ating pagkakaibigan. Nagsalita na ang sambayanang Pilipino: kailangan ninyo ng isang matinding hagupit sa puwet para naman matino kayo.
Kris, Cristy, Alfie: Boy, kumampi ka sa mga pesteng iyon? Mamatay ka!

With just a swipe of their hands, they all knock Boy out cold.

Erich: Grrr! Ganyan ba ang matinong usapan?
Korina: Kris! Di ko alam na ganyan ka pala! Wala na akong magagawa kundi turuan kita ng leksyon!
Mel: (thinking) Oh well... sa ngayon, kakampi muna ako kay Koring. Tapos...
Boy: Kayong lahat... lalo ka na, Hero... pag-igihan ninyo... ugh... (turns unconscious)

Hero and the rest of his allies draw their weapons, and...

Hero: Oras na... para sa makatarungang paghihiganti. RETRIBUTION IS NIGH AGAINST YOU FILTHY DEVILS!



A BOSS BATTLE COMMENCES!

Allies: Anyone from Matthew Luke, Hyacinth, Zenki, Naruto, Katie, Sachiko, Yumi, Mizuki, Asa, Ayu, Misuzu, Arcueid, Saber, Kim, Gerald, Kira, Athrun, Pritong Kandule, Hero, Sandara, Joseph, Korina, Mel, Erich (maximum party size of 6)
Enemies: Kris Aquino (HP: 3,390), Cristy Fermin (HP: 3,400), Alfie Lorenzo (HP: 4,300)

Required party members: Hero, Sandara, Joseph

Starting line-up: Hero, Sandara, Joseph, Kim, Gerald, Erich

Sandara chooses to cast No Dong on Kris Aquino. She deals 543 damage to Kris Aquino.
Hero chooses to cast Disabling Slash on Alfie Lorenzo. He deals 169 damage to Alfie Lorenzo. But Alfie Lorenzo is not paralyzed!
Joseph chooses to cast Cometdance on all enemies. He deals 145 damage to each enemy.
Kris Aquino chooses to cast James K N B? on Hero. She deals 112 damage to Hero.
Cristy Fermin chooses to cast Hilom on Kris Aquino. Kris Aquino's HP is restored by 248 points.
Alfie Lorenzo chooses to cast Hangin on Hero. He deals 50 damage to Hero. Hero is in critical condition.
Kim chooses to do a cooperative attack with Gerald named "PBB Teens Assault". That attack deals 7 hits and 229 damage to Cristy Fermin.
Erich chooses to cast Double Thrust on Cristy Fermin. She deals 526 damage to Cristy Fermin.
Kris Aquino chooses to cast Barako on Alfie Lorenzo. Alfie Lorenzo's ATK increased by 10.
Cristy Fermin chooses to cast Crispy Pata Libelous Strike on Hero. She deals 95 damage to Hero. Hero is KO'd.
Alfie Lorenzo chooses to cast Enveloping Fungi on all allies. Only Erich is Poisoned.
Sandara chooses to use 1-Use Defribulator on Hero. Hero is revived with 51 HP left.
Hero chooses to cast First Aid on himself. He recovers 150 HP. Critical condition removed.
Joseph chooses to cast Cometdance on all enemies. He deals 143 damage to each enemy.
Kris Aquino chooses to cast James K N B? on Hero. She deals 102 damage to Hero.
Cristy Fermin chooses to cast Hilom on Kris Aquino. Kris Aquino's HP is restored by 246 points.
Alfie Lorenzo chooses to cast Hangin on Hero. He deals 50 damage to Hero. Hero is in critical condition.
Kim chooses to use Gatorade on Hero. Hero recovers 150 HP. Critical condition removed.
Gerald chooses to cast Bash on Cristy Fermin. He deals 651 damage to Cristy Fermin.
Erich chooses to use Herbolario's Antidote on herself. Erich is no longer Poisoned.
Kris Aquino chooses to cast Barako on Cristy Fermin. Cristy Fermin's ATK increased by 10.
Cristy Fermin chooses to cast Crispy Pata Libelous Strike on Hero. She deals 85 damage to Hero.
Alfie Lorenzo chooses to cast Hangin on Hero. He deals 50 damage to Hero.
Sandara chooses to do a cooperative attack with Joseph named "New Loveteam Attack". That attack deals 6 hits and 329 damage to Cristy Fermin.
Hero chooses to use Gatorade on himself. He recovers 150 HP.
Kris Aquino chooses to cast Barako on herself. Her ATK increased by 10.
Cristy Fermin chooses to cast Hilom on Alfie Lorenzo. Alfie Lorenzo's HP is restored by 246 points.
Alfie Lorenzo chooses to cast Hangin on Hero. He deals 49 damage to Hero.
Kim chooses to cast Kikou-Ken on Cristy Fermin. She deals 507 damage to Cristy Fermin.
Gerald chooses to use Gatorade on Hero. Hero's HP restored to full.
Erich chooses to cast Double Thrust on Cristy Fermin. She deals 415 damage to Cristy Fermin.
Kris Aquino chooses to cast James K N B? on Hero. She deals 92 damage to Hero.
Cristy Fermin chooses to cast Hilom on herself. Her HP is restored by 135 points.
Alfie Lorenzo chooses to cast Hangin on Hero. He deals 49 damage to Hero.
Sandara chooses to do a cooperative attack with Hero named "Old Loveteam Attack". That attack deals 6 hits and 600 damage to Cristy Fermin. Cristy Fermin is KO'd.
Joseph chooses to attack Kris Aquino. He deals 157 damage to Kris Aquino.
Kris Aquino chooses to cast James K N B? on Hero. But Hero dodges the attack!
Alfie Lorenzo chooses to cast Enveloping Fungi on all allies. But nothing happened!
Kim chooses to cast Kikou-Ken on Kris Aquino. She deals 496 damage to Kris Aquino.
Gerald chooses to use Gatorade on Hero. Hero's HP restored to full.
Erich chooses to do a cooperative attack with Hero named "SCQ Teen Champions Attack". That attack deals 15 hits and 720 damage to Kris Aquino.
Kris Aquino chooses to cast James K N B? on Hero. She deals 91 damage to Hero.
Alfie Lorenzo chooses to cast Hangin on Hero. He deals 48 damage to Hero.
Sandara chooses to do a cooperative attack with Hero and Joseph named "Combined Loveteam Attack". That attack deals 12 hits and 732 damage to each enemy.
Kris Aquino chooses to cast Barako on herself. But nothing happened!
Alfie Lorenzo chooses to cast Hangin on Hero. He deals 47 damage to Hero. Hero is in critical condition.
Kim chooses to cast Kikou-Ken on Kris Aquino. She deals 469 damage to Kris Aquino.
Gerald chooses to cast Bash on Kris Aquino. He deals 561 damage to Kris Aquino. Kris Aquino is KO'd.
Erich chooses to do a cooperative attack with Hero named "SCQ Teen Champions Attack". That attack deals 15 hits and 610 damage to Alfie Lorenzo.
Alfie Lorenzo chooses to cast Enveloping Fungi on all allies. All allies are Poisoned.
Sandara chooses to use Herbolario's Antidote on herself. Sandara is no longer Poisoned.
Hero chooses to use Herbolario's Antidote on himself. Hero is no longer Poisoned.
Joseph chooses to use Herbolario's Antidote on himself. Joseph is no longer Poisoned.
Alfie Lorenzo chooses to cast Enveloping Fungi on all allies. But nothing happened!
Kim chooses to use Herbolario's Antidote on herself. Kim is no longer Poisoned.
Gerald chooses to use Herbolario's Antidote on himself. Gerald is no longer Poisoned.
Erich chooses to use Herbolario's Antidote on herself. Erich is no longer Poisoned.
Alfie Lorenzo chooses to cast Enveloping Fungi on all allies. But nothing happened!
Sandara chooses to do a cooperative attack with Hero and Joseph named "Combined Loveteam Attack". That attack deals 12 hits and 723 damage to Alfie Lorenzo.
Alfie Lorenzo chooses to cast Enveloping Fungi on all allies. But nothing happened!
Kim chooses to do a cooperative attack with Gerald named "PBB Teens Assault". That attack deals 7 hits and 629 damage to Alfie Lorenzo.
Erich chooses to cast Double Thrust on Alfie Lorenzo. She deals 527 damage to Alfie Lorenzo.
Alfie Lorenzo chooses to cast Hangin on Hero. He deals 49 damage to Hero. Hero is KO'd.
Sandara chooses to use 1-Use Defribulator on Hero. Hero is revived with 52 HP left.
Hero chooses to cast First Aid on himself. He recovers 150 HP. Critical condition removed.
Joseph chooses to cast Zardoz's Fury on himself. His ATK increased by 20.
Alfie Lorenzo chooses to cast Enveloping Fungi on all allies. But nothing happened!
Kim chooses to defend.
Gerald chooses to defend.
Erich chooses to defend.
Sandara chooses to do a cooperative attack with Hero and Joseph named "Combined Loveteam Attack". That attack deals 12 hits and 900 damage to Alfie Lorenzo. Alfie Lorenzo is KO'd.

BATTLE WON!

Cristy: Aghh... sige na... susuko na ako... Mangagako akong... hindi... sisira ng pagkatao... ng mga artista...
Alfie: Ako rin... hindi... na ako... magtuturo ng pagsisipsip... sa mga nakatataas... sa showbiz...
Hero: Siguraduhin ninyong hindi ninyo tatratuhin na parang itlog ang mga pangako ninyo. At ikaw naman, Kris... (points sword at her)
Kris: Ahahahahahaha! Paano ako susuko sa iyo, hampas-lupang artistang laos na anak ng barakong luslos!
Hero: Kris! Talagang matigas ang ulo mo! Namana mo iyon mula kay alam-mo-na-iyan!
Kris: Just give it up already! I choose na ipagpatuloy ko ang pagmumulto sa iyo, Mr. Hero Angeles! And to the rest of you... I will do a Douglas MacArthur! Ahahahahahaha! (leaves via teleportation)
Cristy & Alfie: Kris... sana... magbago ka na... (sleeps)

Just then, Boy recovers from his unconsciousness.

Boy: Ughh... Tapos na ba... ang laban?
Matthew Luke: Opo. Tapos na.
Korina: Nangako sina Cristy at Alfie na magbabago sila, pero si Kris... hindi ko alam kung ano ang nasa utak niya... Itutuloy ko pa ba ang pagkakaibigan ko sa kanya?
Mel: OK, tapos na ang kontrata! Babayou, mga asungot na #2! (leaves)
Korina: Mel, bumalik ka!
Mirmo: Hoy, Ma'am K, tigilan n'yo na iyan. Sa ibang araw n'yo na siya patulan.

Boy fully regains his strength, and then the entire ABS-CBN compound is cleared of all monsters.

Boy: Mga kaibigan, maraming salamat po sa inyong lahat sa naibigay ninyong tulong sa ating krusada para maibalik si Hero Angeles dito sa ABS-CBN. Tara na, ating mga kaibigan. Mag-usap tayo.

And then the combined force introduce themselves.

Some hours later...

ABS-CBN's officers congratulate Hero and co. for restoring order. And by the way, they were cleared of the effects of the hallucinating gas that the unholy trio sprayed on them.

Mr. Lopez: Thank you all for restoring order to ABS-CBN and for undertaking the voice of the people that Mr. Hero Angeles must be brought back to right where he started.
Ms. Charo: Nagkamali kami sa aming desisyon na pagbawalan si Hero na pumunta rito. Hindi namin alam na iyan ay magbubunga ng kapahamakan sa Kapamilya Network.
Mr. Lopez: But in exchange, dapat ninyong gawin ito. Medyo masakit sa kalooban natin lahat, pero ito'y makakabuti na rin.
Matthew Luke & Hyacinth: Ano po iyon?
Mr. Lopez: You all must set up a base independent from ours in order to prevent further controversies.
Hero, Sandara, Joseph: Pero...!
Korina & Boy: Paano kaming mga empleyado ng ABS?
Ms. Charo: Oo nga. Masakit. Ngunit kayong mga empleyado ng ABS ay hindi masisisante.
Korina & Boy: Hay salamat.
Kira: Masikip na kasi ang mga docks dito sa ABS dahil kina Voltes V at Raijin-Oh.
Athrun: Kailangan ng mga Gundam namin ang konting breathing room.
Mr. Lopez: And as a parting gift, we give you the new members of the army that will someday be the peacemaker in our still-brewing war against GMA.

One by one, Willie Revillame, Nash Aguas, Nikki Bagaporo, Ogie Diaz, and Lito Camo introduce themselves.

Willie: Wowowee! Sigurandong mawilili tayong lahat kapag naayos na ang gusot sa pagitan ng dalawang higanteng istasyon na ito!
Nash & Nikki: Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen. Siguradong goin' bananas ang army ninyo kapag isinama kaming mga bulilit sa inyo!
Ogie: (as Gosh Abelgosh) Hindi matutulog ang mga tsismosa hangga't hindi nasosolusyunan ang tinatawag na "network wars".
Lito: Nangako akong hindi iiwan si Willie bilang kaibigan, at saka para mataasan ang morale ninyo gamit ang aking musika.
Mr. Lopez: Tandaan ito, kayong lahat na nandirito. Wala man kayo pansamantala rito sa Kapamilya Network, my heart is still with you all, fellow Stars of Destiny.
Hyacinth: Alam n'yo rin ang tungkol sa mga Stars of Destiny?
Mr. Lopez: Yes. Noong nawala na ang epekto ng gas na ibinuga nina Kris, nagpakita ang isang babae at sinabi niya ang tungkol sa mga Stars of Destiny. Sila raw ang susugpo sa bumabalik na pagkakahati-hati ng mga Pilipino. At ako ang isa sa mga iyon.
Ms. Charo: Kaya mga bata, pag-igihan ninyo ang trabaho. Mapalad ang nagkakaisa, Kapamilya man o Kapuso.
The combined force: OPO!

And the (incomplete) Stars of Destiny all leave the premises of ABS-CBN. The new problem: where will the new stronghold be?

The HELLO HENRY SCANDAL, Part 4
Legend: A-Emily Abrera, G-Felipe Gozon

Conversation on 18 23:55 July 2006

A: Hello, Henry? Palpak na ang plano natin!
G: Ma'am?
A: Si Hero, bumalik na rito sa ABS, punyeta.
G: Siguro may nagmanipula para mabigo ang tagumpay sana natin.
A: Ok, Ok. Pero may back-up plan ako.
G: Ano?
A: Si Laguardia......... (line cut)

Meanwhile, when Henry learned that Hero really came back to ABS...

"AAAAAAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHH!!! Palpak na naman ang mind alteration technique ko! (pauses) Hmm... mas mabuti kung magla-lie low muna ako. Hahayaan kong dumami ang kaalyado ni Hero, saka ko na sila pagmamanipulahin! AHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

---

Stars Introduced So Far

Tensyo - the Wounded Star
(Wu Song, the Ascetic)
Willie Revillame

Tenrou - the Goal Star
(Yang Xiong, He who is Equal to Guan Suo)
Nash Aguas (Goin' Bulilit)

Tensui - the Star of Intelligence
(Shi Xiu, One Who Heeds Not His Life)
Nikki Bagaporo (Goin' Bulilit)

Chikai - Chief Star of Earth
(Zhu Wu, Strategist of Divine Skill)
Ogie Diaz

Chigaku - Star of Music
(Yue He, the Iron Throat)
Lito Camo